Beware the Mighty Bear

So, as I was researching the Appalachian Trail, I came across a new rule put in place about how in certain areas you are required to store food in a bear canister. I hadn’t really considered it before so I decided to start researching them for size, weight and most importantly cost when I came across this statement on one of the most popular brands:

“There is a bear in the Marcy Dam area of the Adirondacks in upstate New York that has learned to open BearVault food containers. BearVaults are approved for use everywhere except the area encompassing the Lake Colden/Marcy Dam corridor and the Johns Brook valley in the Adirondacks.”

This made me think of a couple of things.

1.  How amazing is that! You can make something and guarantee it will work until it doesn’t.  Why not just say, “We guarantee this bear canister will work unless of course a bear happens to come across it.”

2.  I guess it’s a good thing the AT doesn’t actually go through the Adirondacks.

3.  If the bear canister doesn’t in fact work why am I required to purchase it and carry the extra weight and make my packing the bag more difficult?

4.  Is this bear in fact just the first in a new evolutionary chain that will start the bear takeover of humankind?

I thought about that last one a while and then started to realize that no he indeed would not be the first smart bear. Have we not been warned yet, have we not been expecting this takeover?

It was all the way back in 1926 when we were first introduced to Winnie-the-Pooh.  We hardly found him threatening and by referring to himself as “the pooh” instead of “the bear” he might have managed to escape a more critical eye.

He was followed up by Smokey. Smokey was brazen by adding “the bear” to his name and managed to get away with it due to the pity of his story. Smokey was an actual bear that was injured in a forest fire, nursed back to health and then went on to have a lucrative career as everyone’s favorite fire safety bear.

Then the infamous Yogi, using a play on words he stole the name of beloved Yankees catcher Yogi Berra and continued to steal throughout his time in Jellystone National Park.

They have been followed by the likes of Fozzie and Baloo and many others. How long before we stop worry about artificially intelligent machines and genetically enhanced monkeys and start looking to the natural evolution of the evil genius bears?

 

 

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